So I had a whole entry typed out last Sunday, got a phone call, talked for about an hour, hung up, and then shut my computer down before going to bed and lost the whole thing. That was about enough to make me wait another week to try it again. So here goes. Sunday morning.
My life is a tornado of craziness these days. I'm full time student teaching right now; 7 days a week in the first grade. This past week and next, I'm doing all of the planning and teaching. I'm incredibly overwhelmed and would enjoy it much more if I were actually getting paid. It's so much more work than I had ever anticipated, but incredibly fulfilling as well. I adore my kids. I have two weeks left in first grade before I transition back to fifth, and then only a couple of months until I graduate. Finally. Then it's onto finding a full time job for the summer before I start applying for teaching jobs in July. I can't believe that I'm actually going to be doing this on my own in a matter of months, but I'm incredibly excited and actually feel ready. Well, somewhat ready, anyway. Anyhow, the teaching schedule doesn't leave time for much else. I try to get to the gym a few times a week, seeing as my tuition paid for that damn Rec Center, I need to use it for free while I still have the opportunity. And the exercise makes me feel good. The days of weeknight drinking, or even weekend drinking for that matter, are long gone. I just don't have the time, energy, or money for it. I enjoy a quiet dinner with friends or a movie over a drunken parade these days. And I'm happy for that.
So, for lack of energy required for explanation, here are tidbits:
I'm obsessed with the redbox. What an ingenius idea. It's a ritual for me; a trip to Albertsons's to pick up dinner and hit up the redbox. Here are movies you should check out:
Eatern Promises
We Own the Night
Rendition
Michael Clayton
Gone Baby, Gone
Go out, right now, and purchase The Road by Cormac McCarthy. I read it yesterday in its entirety. I couldn't put it down. Fantastic. McCarthy is my father's favorite author. Something about that tugs my heart strings.
I'm so over winter. I'm desperate for a change of season. I'm tired of wearing coats and boots and always being freezing. I'm ready for shorts and swimsuits and air conditioners. Hurry, please.
I've never been sick so many times in one year in my life. Elementary classrooms are like little petri dishes. I have a sore throat for about the 100th time this year, and a nasty cough to go along with it. I have refused to take Airborn all year, determined that my immune system will man up. However, I've heard that it takes a couple of years teaching before that happens. Yay.
The living situation is still the same. I'm incredibly grateful to have somewhere to stay in such a tough time, however, it has become somewhat stiffling. Come July, I will be living allllllll on my own. I can't wait. : )
My heart and mind have been avoiding a lot. I haven't completely dealt with everything that has happened over the past few months. I'm afraid when it does happen, I'll be paralyzed by grief, shame, and sadness. That frightens me. But, amidst the overwhelming pain, is an enormous amount of hope, and an innate sense that I will be okay. We all will be okay. I'm certain of that.
I have dedicated myself to reading Jane Austen on my downtime over the next few weeks. I'm starting with Emma. I'll let you know how it goes.
My mom and I went to see Barack Obama speak here in Boise. It was a ridiculous attempt, but we made it in and heard him speak. I haven't felt that excited and inspired in a long time. I hope the American people can get it together and make this man our next president. I'm incredibly ashamed at what this country has become, in terms of allowing all that we have over the past 8 years from an adminstration that has wounded it so badly. BTW, I was sent into a tailspin of fury and anxiety a while ago from this film: www.zeitgeistmovie.com. Test your threshold and go watch it. Immediately.
There's a new boy. And a lot of story to go along with it. And waiting too. Which is a good thing. He surprises me and makes me smile.
So, on the agenda for today:
Shower
Going into work for awhile
Read
Dinner
Bed
I try not to take things for granted. To say thank you, appreciate the ones I love, to breathe the fresh air and take in the sky. I try.
~K.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
curious
cynical
restless
cold
listless
calm
determined
exhausted
morose
thankful
disappointed
frustrated
complacent
embarrassed
wounded
stressed
worried
giddy